<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>There's a light in the dark by romeoandjulietyouwish</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116280">There's a light in the dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish'>romeoandjulietyouwish</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lis Writes 9-1-1 [29]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(it's minor though), Caring Eddie Diaz, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Eddie Diaz, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Self-Harm, Worried Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 07:43:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Eddie comforting Buck after a bad call</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lis Writes 9-1-1 [29]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>209</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There's a light in the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: self harm</p><p>It's minor and accidental, but I just want to tag to make sure</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck sits in his living room just staring at the black tv screen. They lost three people today. Three people died because he wasn’t smart enough or good enough. One of the victims had parents waiting outside for her, she was fourteen. And Buck let her die. </p><p>He digs his nails into his palm, pressing harder and harder as he forces himself to repeat their names. </p><p>Elena. </p><p>Daniel.</p><p>Anna. </p><p>Elena.</p><p>Daniel. </p><p>Anna. </p><p>Elena. </p><p>Daniel.</p><p>An-</p><p>“Buck?” </p><p>He inhales sharply as the voice grounds him back in reality. Looking up, Buck sees Eddie standing a few feet away. His boyfriend wears a concerned frown as he sits down on the coffee table in front of him. </p><p>“Can you take a deep breath for me?” Eddie asks gently. Buck does as he asks. Eddie reaches out and takes Buck’s hand, slowly unfurling his fingers, revealing four perfect crescent indented on his palm, all of them bleeding. “Buck...”</p><p>Buck knows that tone. He doesn’t want Eddie to feel sorry for him. He just wants to be left alone to deal with his own failures. He doesn’t deserve to be taken care of right now. </p><p>He snatches his hand away from Eddie, “I’m fine. You didn’t have to come here. You should go be with Christopher.”</p><p>Eddie shakes his head, “Chris and Carla all but shoved me out the door when they heard you’d had a rough day. Eddie moves so he’s sitting beside Buck on the couch, their sides flush against each other. “You’re not fine. You didn’t talk to anyone before you left, you were just staring into space, and you hurt yourself. Buck, I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to worry about you.” Eddie takes Buck’s injured hand and gently rubs his thumb over his knuckles. “What’s going on?” </p><p>“Three people died today because of me,” Buck tells him, lip wobbling as tears gather in his eyes. </p><p>“Because of a fire,” Eddie corrects. “We did all that we could for them.” </p><p>“<em>I</em> didn’t. I could have saved them if I had just been smarter. That little girl would be eating dinner with her family right now, not in a morgue.” Buck pulls away from Eddie. “Please just go.” </p><p>“Why?” Eddie questions. “So you can beat yourself up over and over again about the what-ifs? Because you don’t think you deserve to be comforted?” </p><p>“I don’t!” Buck jumps to his feet, turning to look at his boyfriend, tears falling in earnest now. “I-I don’t deserve for you to tell me that it’s okay when three...three people are...” Buck gasps for breath as he cries. </p><p>Eddie is on his feet in an instant and hugs Buck close. Buck rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder, trusting Eddie to support his weight as he cries. Eddie’s arms are tight around him and while Buck sobs, Eddie whispers things into his ear, things too quiet for Buck to hear over his own crying. </p><p>Eventually, Eddie maneuvers Buck to sit on the couch. “It wasn’t your fault,” Eddie tells him. “It was an awful situation that cost people their lives, but it was not your fault. You did everything you could.” </p><p>Those five words make Buck go lax in Eddie’s arms. That’s exactly what he needed to hear. He did everything he could. Eddie’s hands run up and down his back, repeating the comforting words as Buck’s sobs finally die down. </p><p>Buck sits up, a little embarrassed at the breakdown he just had in front of his boyfriend. “Sorry.” Buck scrubs away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.</p><p>“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Eddie assures him, his thumb moving soothingly across Buck’s collar bone. “It happens to all of us. Do you feel any better?” </p><p>Buck nods, “A little. Um, thank you for being here. I-I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t.” </p><p>Eddie kisses Buck gently, “Of course. I’ll always be here for you. Come on,” Eddie tugs on Buck’s hand, forcing him to stand up. “I’m taking you home with me where I will be making the only dinner of mine Christopher approves of.”</p><p>“Chicken and waffles?” Buck asks. </p><p>“Chicken and waffles,” Eddie confirms. He smiles and kisses Buck one more time. “You already have clothes at my place, let’s go.” </p><p>“Okay.” Buck smiles even though his eyes are still red and he can’t stop himself from repeating their names over and over. But Eddie’s hand is in his. So things aren’t all that bad. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments and kudos are always appreciated! </p><p>Tumblr- @evanbuckley-heartofgold</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>